The cherry on the cake. A love story?

Some days ago, during lunch, I had the most amazing conversation with a friend, gossiping and talking about friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, fights, Paris, couples… The usual stuff people talk about without noticing their food is getting cold.

My friend was telling me that she is a person who analyses every word, situation and gesture in a relationship (and in general), while slowly eating her grapes and running her fingers up and down the edges of her red fruit bowl.

My reaction to that was: your girlfriend must be the exact opposite, right? She must be the one living in the moment, the impulsive one, the one that makes you forget your doubts and reasoning?

The answer was: No. She is the analytic type as well.

But when we are together, we are different. When I’ve met her, I decided to live in the present, to let things happen, because I felt we had something strong going on, and I don’t want to let go of that. And she did the same. Sometimes we have huge, explosive fights, saying things we don’t mean and the day after, I just tell her that I love her and we forget everything.

While telling me this, she was very serious, leaning a little bit towards me, speaking with a passionate voice and arranging her glasses, before concluding:

Consider your life as a cake. A partner should be the cherry on the cake. They should complete you, make your life more beautiful and happier. If they make you sad, then they’re not your cherry and you don’t need them.

So, take a lesson from my friend’s experience and let go of overthinking, allowing yourself to enjoy the present and the person who complements your life like a cherry on top of a cake.

However, on a more serious note, I guess you know that not all relationships are healthy. Here are some red flags to look out for:

• Lack of communication or poor communication (them telling you half of the story, before putting the blame on you)
• Controlling or possessive behavior (them making you feel guilty for spending time outside of the relationship)
• Frequent arguments or explosive fights (even for little things)
• Disrespectful or abusive behavior (you should be a team, nobody should make fun of you or belittle you)
• Dishonesty or a lack of trust (is the other person checking your phone behind your back? Not trusting you?)

If you notice any of these red flags in your relationship, it may be time to re-evaluate. Remember, a healthy relationship should bring joy and positivity to your life. Don’t settle for anything less than a partner who complements you like the cherry on top of a cake!

And if your gut is telling you that there are red flags, try to open up, by writhing things down in a dairy as a first step or by talking about it to a trusted friend, family or even a professional.

Sometimes, telling your story helps you put things into perspective and clear your thoughts.

And if you don’t want to tell them it’s your story that you’re telling, you can always start with: “I have this friend who’s in a relationship where…”.